Time to Recharge

As I wrote about recently, we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary on January 6th. I wanted us to take a nice trip somewhere, just the two of us, and be able to provide a bit of pampering to Kelly. I found a great deal for an all inclusive trip to Mexico and pulled the trigger on that in February of 2020. But, thanks to COVID, that trip is not going to come to fruition. Huge bummer!

As we contemplated what to do, Elise experienced a lengthy hospital stay in November and December, COVID cases spiked again in December, and "going away" just didn't seem like a good idea. So, we did what we always do........we adapted. We had a staycation instead. Our helper for Elise, Emma, came to stay for a couple of days and nights and we "got away" to a hotel here in town. It was not Mexico! But, it was pretty glorious nonetheless.

Honestly, I think it was exactly what we both needed. Familiar surroundings, no responsibilities, great food and drinks, and a jacuzzi tub! What else could a person want? More than ever I have REALLY been feeling the burden of responsibility. Elise requires assistance to do everything in her daily life. Even during the best of times that can be exhausting. COVID times have made that even more challenging for sure. Because of social distancing, the funky schedule of the university for students, and hospital stuff for Elise for we received much left help than we normally would. We have always employed great college kids that help us tremendously, and right now is no different. But, because of the things I mentioned above, she just hasn't been around much. Kelly is generally out of bed before the sun rises, all year around, seven days per week. I'm the "late shift" guy and take care of anything that happens before about 3:00 a.m. Kelly gets the early morning stuff. Certainly not ideal, but it works for us.This past weekend we were able to have three leisurely mornings in a row! Kelly wasn't out of bed before the sun came up and I had no middle of the night responsibilities. It was heavenly!

We didn't venture too far, but we got to go wherever we wanted WHEN we wanted to. That was a huge blessing for sure! I've had catered food from The Friendship House in nearby Wamego many times, but we never made it there to eat. We certainly enjoyed a nice leisurely breakfast there on Sunday. We followed that up with a visit to nearby Mount Mitchell outside of town and a trip to the Beecher Bible & Rifle Church. We walked about three miles of the trail at Mount Mitchell on that brisk morning and really enjoyed venturing through the prairie. We learned that we are not cut out to be settlers and walking for days in the prairie terrain to establish our home is not something that is in our makeup. I have profound respect for our ancestors so long ago. We finished up our time together with a warm cup of Chai Tea at the new Brothers Coffee here in MHK. We haven't been inside too many places to eat or drink anything in the past 10+ months, so it was a bit weird. But, we enjoyed it (and would recommend it) nonetheless. Enjoy a few of my pictures from our hike around Mount Mitchell and the surrounding area.

For As Long as We Both Shall Live

Our wedding photo

January 6th of 2001 was a very unusual January day. The weather was unseasonably warm, the sun was shining, and snow and ice were nowhere to be found. We had lots of family and friends in attendance and things went about as perfectly as we could have hoped for. It was a great day for our wedding.

For those that knew us in our younger years, you probably recall it took me a fair amount of time to "grow up". I enjoyed my college experience and drug it out about as long as possible. But, it occurred to me at one point that Kelly probably wasn't going to wait for me forever. It was obvious that I wasn't going to run her off so I got my act together. I was ecstatic when she said yes when I asked her to marry me.

Pretty cute huh?

We went on our first date in December of 1994. So as you can see, it took me 7 whole years to come around to this whole marriage thing. After getting married, we waited another 5 years to start our family. We had tons of adventures in those early years. We heeded the advice of many and did A LOT of traveling before kids came. 

Don't let the fancy dress and pearls fool you. She is a simple girl. Not so secretively, I have always loved that about her. I asked her where she would like to eat on our first date. When she replied, "McDonald's", I was in college boy heaven! I was prepared to take my lumps with an expensive dinner, but to my delight she was much more simple than that. While her tastes have changed some over the past twenty years, she still loves a good hamburger and simple is still her style.

A cross stitch done by my sister Val.

When you are twenty five, healthy, and the whole world is in front of you, the vows you say on your wedding day are pretty simple. Like so many, I can say that I had no idea the amount of commitment it would take to live up to those vows. Like the picture on the left, we have experienced all of those things in our first 20 years.

It is fairly easy to love each other when you have money left after your bills are paid. But, life is much more stressful when the ends don't meet. Loving each other when life is flowing smoothly is also far more simple than when you can't see eye to eye. I honestly never considered that "in sickness and in health" would be something that also involved our kids. In the beginning it seemed that a little chicken soup on an ill day should suffice for fulfilling that vow shouldn't it? 

"For as long as we both shall live." More than anything, that is the line that fuels me. I have made a commitment to Kelly and I intend to keep it. It would be "so easy" to give up some days, or at least that is what so many people will tell you. But, would it really be that easy? In these past 20 years we have faced some tremendously difficult times. There have been days, months, and probably even years where our marriage didn't come first. But we have held on. It certainly has not been the fairy tale that many people would try to lead you to believe.

We all have visions of what our lives will look like when we grow up. I never envisioned the life I have lead the past 20+ years. In reality, very few people ever lead the life they envisioned. What would be the fun in that anyway? Always having everything turn out the way you expected would get boring right?

I was recently listening to a marriage podcast where the interviewee mentioned that his research had found that the first 20 years of marriage were the hardest. Really? That is fantastic I thought! If we have made it through the hardest part I will take it! I'm positive that there will be lots of fun and tough times ahead, but I am certainly better equipped to handle them than I was 20 years ago.

After dating so long, I thought I knew Kelly about as well as I could. She is kind, compassionate, helpful, quiet, reserved, and creative. More than anything over the past 20 years, I have learned that she is strong, devoted, dependable, resilient, hard working and strong. Did I mention she is strong? Yes, I meant to mention that 3 times. That might not be enough.

The life we have is messy, challenging and often bumpy. Yet, the life we have is also fun, amazing, and full of so many beautiful things. We have experienced so many wonderful people, places and things in our 20 years of marriage. When the times have been tough, we have held on tight just like the picture above. We are in this together, "For As Long as We Both Shall Live."