This is a topic I have wrestled with for YEARS! If you are only here for the synopsis of my thoughts on this topic, the answer is yes. But, the answer may not come in your time frame and/or you may not like the answer when it comes.
I generally contemplate this thought when going through some difficult health situation or when seeing friends and acquaintances going through something difficult. We (collective we as a society) grasp on to the "I'm praying hard for you", "Praise God for answering our prayers", "I know that God will make everything alright for you". If we get the outcome that we want, then life is full of, "Prayer works!", "Thank God for answering our prayers", "Your faith brought you through", etc. But, how true is all of this? Let me walk you through a multiple year example of this in my life.
Back in 2009, my daughter Elise was diagnosed with cancer. Obviously, there were a ton of prayers for complete healing for her by our friends, family, acquaintances and people we didn't even know. After many months of treatment, she was cancer free. Our prayers were answered! Right? During cancer treatment, Elise contracted a virus on her brain and lost all of her skills up to that point in her life. In case you wondered, I don't think anyone prayed for that to happen to her. She was cancer free, but now she was saddled with a lifetime of issues that remained from that brain infection. Was this God's answer to anyone's prayers? She was cancer free, but now had an entirely different issue.
During the last 12 years of her life, Elise suffered from a severe form of seizures that impacted her life in many ways. Many times per year she would have a day where the seizures were out of control and we would have to do some kind of medical intervention. Before it came to that, more times than I can count, I found myself on my knees next to her praying for the seizures to stop. RARELY did this ever happen. I have a vivid memory of one of my most challenging nights grasping that "God Answers Prayers" when I was holding her hand and praying out loud for God to make the seizures stop. It didn't happen and in a matter of time I was sitting next to her at the hospital instead. Where was "God Answers Prayers" in this instance?
I can recall a time when Elise was probably 5 or so and we were all REALLY struggling with everything that seizures bring into your lives. There was so little working and so much frustration. In one of those really tough nights I remember going outside and having an out loud conversation with God. She did not deserve this. Was she, and ultimately we, being punished for something with this awful experience? I remember at that time challenging God to make them stop or take her off this earth and stop her struggle. Honestly, I know I said out loud, "Stop fucking around with this and DO something!" Probably not the way to talk with God huh? But, I also know that he knew full well I was thinking it, might as well get it out there. Little did I know there would be years more of struggle with her seizure disorder and unanswered prayers.
I had a conversation like that with God many times over the years. While I still don't have a clear understanding of the "why" life was like this for her, I did gain a much clearer perspective over time. What was I praying for? Complete healing? Relief from all struggles? All of the above?
I can say with certainty that she was happy all the way to the end of her life. As we were really struggling with how best to help her in the last couple months of her life, I sat next to her and asked her lots of questions. If you knew Elise, you know that she was non-verbal. Conversations were pretty unconventional. But, we had learned over the years that she would answer yes and no questions by pointing to one of those options on a "Yes/No" card that we had. As we struggled with how aggressive to be in helping her, I really wanted her to have some kind of say if possible. We talked with her about all that was being said to us by the various doctors. Near the end of that conversation, where we had been talking about quality of her life, I asked her "Are you happy?" She answered yes pretty quickly. And, I absolutely believe that.
This picture was taken on the day of that conversation. Twenty two days later, she was gone from this earth. So, can I say that my prayers were answered? Maybe I guess. But, which prayer was it?
